Fallen
by Nautica7mk
Summary: Superman loses his memory after a battle with an unknown enemy. Lois, with the help of Richard, finds him barely alive. When he awakes, everything changes.
1. Prologue

**Title**: Fallen

**Author**: Nadia Mack

**Rating**: T

**Summary**: Superman moves through the world with entirely new eyes.

**Author's Notes**: This isn't a sequel to Unmasked. Fallen is an entirely new story that I hope gets a different reaction than the first. It's different, far different, yet I hope to remain in-character and all that jazz. Special thanks to Barbara for once again taking on the task as my beta-checker. Have you read "Déjà vu"? If not, you're missing out. And one other story that I find myself enjoying is "Hold Your Tongue." You really have to check it out if you haven't.

**Prologue**

"_**I have fallen into an abyss. I live in a world so curious, so strange. Of the dream that was my life, this is my nightmare." – Cammille Claudel**_

He felt cold. The pain felt suffocating. He couldn't breathe. His vision blurred and the sounds around him became distant, muddled. No amount of experience and victories could help him now as he struggled to catch his breath. Lex Luthor's machinations to kill him seemed trivial to what he felt as his face dropped flat against the cold icy floor.

He rolled over on his back, the massive pain threatening to send him into unconsciousness. His eyes could barely make out the tall crystalline landscape that formed his Fortress of Solitude, He was surrounded by the light of something red and it made him weak.

_Who are you? _His mind raced for answers as he forced each breath.

As if the thing had read his mind, Superman felt his lungs fighting for air as his entire body was lifted off the ground.

"You wouldn't recognize me," the thing said in an eerily calm voice. If it had a weakness, the Last Son of Krypton couldn't find one. "Do you know what I am, Kal-El?"

It knew his name. The name his biological parents had given him shortly before their death. The knowledge of his ancestors gave him comfort once, but now they served as a painful reminder of a world he would truly never know, and he, the son of Jor-El and Lara, was all that was left of it.

His mind wandered in the midst of the pain…

When he arrived on Earth, he was given a great gift which his biological parents could only hope to give him, a family. Jonathan and Martha Kent raised him without fear and prejudice. They loved him completely, taught him the ways of the world the best they could. Everything that he was, everything that he hoped to be, none of it would have been possible without the love and kindness of two farmers from a little town called Smallville.

His mind jumped back to reality, and he braced himself for another onslaught of pain, but it was too late, his senses were not attuned to any of its attacks, and he fell right back down to the floor, completely defeated. If he had been dying right now, he would probably not fight it.

"Your people created me," it said. The voice remained calm as if it was having a normal conversation with him. It grabbed his neck once more and forced Superman's eyes open. "Your eyes..." but Superman could barely see it. "They're your mother's eyes."

Superman gulped painfully as he attempted to comprehend its words.

"My... mot... mother?"

The grip around his neck tightened.

"Your father was an intelligent creature, but I was better. Smarter. Stronger. It doesn't even matter what sun I'm under." Superman blinked, his breathing ragged as the voice penetrated all his other weakening senses. "You won't defeat me."

With a single thrust, he was thrown across the fortress and slammed against a pillar when his consciousness faded into darkness. The ground beneath him shook violently as the surrounding structure began to fall in all directions.

His attacker watched as the last remnant of Krypton fell apart. Its face stoic, lacking the smile, or look of victory that would normally take hold of any human or enemy that triumphed over a seemingly impossible obstacle. When it was through, it walked away, not caring to look back, thinking it fitting that the fate of Kal-El mimicked the last few moments of his own father's life.

_Two Days Later_

"I don't like this." Lois Lane, Pulitzer Prize winning reporter, slammed her folder atop her desk and deeply sighed. It was happening all over again.

"He's probably just busy somewhere," Richard said in a failed attempt to explain Superman's actions.

Superman hadn't been seen by anyone on Earth for the last three days, and it had caused a flurry of questions and fear in the populace, especially in Metropolis. Lois' phone had been ringing off the hook with callers wondering where the Man of Steel was. In the last few months since his unprecedented return, he normally flew daily to various locations throughout the globe, aiding in any way he could, so his failure to appear at all had people, particularly Lois, troubled.

"It's not like him to be gone this long."

"He's done it before," Richard said a little too quickly, regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth. "Sorry."

Lois glared at him, quickly forgetting the awkwardness between the two since they had both mutually called it quits several weeks ago. Their separation was kept between them for the time being, with his uncle, editor-in-chief Perry White, the only known person aware.

She, along with her son, had moved out and back into the old apartment she owned in downtown Metropolis. She had sublet it when she moved in with Richard. Thinking back on it, maybe that had been foreshadowing that it would never have worked with Richard in the long run despite how much she had tried. She was too far apart emotionally from him to continue living the way she had, and it wasn't fair to either her son or Richard.

All the while, how she felt about Superman took a backseat until now.

"He wouldn't have left, if that's what you're implying," Lois said, holding her anger inside. She didn't even want to entertain the possibility that he had left again without saying goodbye. "Something's happened to him, I can almost feel it."

Richard laughed humorlessly at her words. As much as he respected the hero, it didn't stop him from feeling robbed of his life when Lois had told him of their history together and the child that resulted from it. He was still sorting out his feelings on the matter, but Lois assured him that he would always be apart of Jason's life, with or without Superman being in theirs.

What Richard didn't know was that a few nights ago, Lois had woken up in the middle of the night feeling as if something wasn't right. She had been about to put the feeling aside when Jason suddenly came into her room asking if he could sleep next to her. She asked if he was okay and he said that something felt different inside him, but it was gone now. She knew her son was scared about something, and she was given further proof when she felt him shaking.

The next morning, she excused it as something that happened every now and again, but when Lois started noticing that Superman had been gone, she instinctively knew something was wrong, and her son must've felt it.

"Richard–"

He looked at her. "Yes?"

"I know this is asking a lot, after everything that's happened–"

"I'll get over it," he interrupted, hoping that it was true. "What do you need?" he asked courageously.

"I…" Lois hesitated, but she needed to know for sure and she knew she couldn't do this alone. "I need… I need you to take me somewhere."

"Where?" he asked curiously.

Lois took a deep breath. This was asking him too much, but she felt she had no other choice.

"North."

**To be continued…**


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes**: Thanks for the feedback everyone. Always a pleasure to see you. The antagonist of the story will slowly come back into the storyline, but right now, I need to get this portion of the story dealt with first. Thank you again. And Barbara rocks!

**Chapter 1**

"**Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother." – Kahlil Gibran**

With Richard at the helm, the former engaged couple headed north in hopes of discovering if Superman was all right.

"Are you sure we're going the right way?" Richard said.

"Yes… kind of… pretty sure."

Richard opened his mouth to say that her words hardly gave him confidence about this venture but he decided to stick with it and shut up. Her gut feeling was normally right anyway.

For the rest of the trip, they remained relatively silent, the only sound was Lois' constant nervous tapping of her fingers. Anyone could tell from a mile away how worried she was.

"If he's out there, we'll find him." Despite everything that had happened, Lois would always mean a great deal to him. He loved her like no other and that feeling doesn't just go away. He knew it'll take time to move on, but it doesn't have to be right now. "We should be there soon."

Lois nodded appreciatively. Then she thought back to the past and remembered the couple of times Superman had taken her to his home up north. At least she thought it was his home. It was complete with everything except the personal fineries of everyday folk like picture frames, carpeted floors, colored walls and drapes. She wondered if the Fortress of Solitude had changed as much as they had.

"Do you think I'm making a mistake?" she asked suddenly.

Richard looked over, unprepared to hear much less answer the question. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," she said.

Richard took a much needed breath before finally giving her the only answer he could give. "You love him," he said simply. "That should be enough."

"And if it's not?"

Richard smiled weakly. "Then you and I will have one more thing in common." Lois nodded, thinking over his words, when she suddenly felt that they were getting close to their destination. She sat straighter, the view getting more and more familiar but the area she waited for never came into her line of sight, and she worried that her memory wasn't as sharp as it used to be.

"You sure this is the place?" Richard asked for the ten-thousandth time.

When Lois moved her gaze to the other side of the windows, her eyes opened wide as she caught the ruins below them.

"Land the plane!" she said in a panic-stricken voice.

"What?" he replied, confused.

"I see it," she said, confirming her view with a point of a finger. "There." Fear gripped her as she saw the remains of Superman's Fortress of Solitude buried beneath layers of ice. The wonder that was the replica of his dead home world was gone. She closed her eyes and feared even more about what was to come, or what they'd find.

* * *

"Be careful, Lois!" Richard yelled after her worriedly. He couldn't help it. After five years of courtship and living together, he couldn't stop being concerned no matter how much they'd drifted apart.

Lois, as always, ignored him. She continued making her way across the ice where the Fortress of Solitude should be. Richard was close behind, constantly reminding her to be careful, and that finding Superman would be fruitless if something happened to her. If her head and heart weren't in so much turmoil, she would've at least sent him a thankful glance.

"Lo—" Richard's word stopped midway through as he stared at the fallen structure of Superman's home in awe. "Jesus Christ!" His jaw fell even further as his eyes glanced every which way at the crystallized structures and pillars buried beneath the ice.

Lois directed her flashlight where the control center should've been, hoping she'd find a clue, any clue, where Superman could be.

"Lois," Richard said, finally finding his voice. He picked up the red cape and he felt a lump in his throat. He reluctantly held it out for Lois to see. "I'm sor—" but she cut him off.

"Don't you say that," she said angrily, snatching the cape away from him. "He's going to be okay. He wouldn't leave us again."

Richard threw her an apologetic glance. Whatever happened here, he knew there had been a fight. How else could you explain what happened? The foundation looked like it was torn right through. There were broken pieces everywhere.

Then he watched Lois hold onto Superman's cape like a lifeline. A few weeks ago, he wouldn't have been able to see that without feeling jealousy and anger, but at this moment, he felt her pain. Everything he held dear fell apart after the great hero returned, and while he still felt some remnant of less than noble feelings about how he lost it all, he wouldn't wish that on anyone deserving of happiness.

"He's got to be around here somewhere," she said, taking him out of his thoughts.

"Okay," he replied, removing his backpack to relieve him of all the extra weight. He began to carefully walk around, hoping to God that he didn't step on thin ice or anything like that.

They searched for hours, their flashlights running low on battery. Small parts of what was left of the giant pillars that normally encased the fortress blocked the sunlight from above, making things much too dark for them to see through.

"SUPERMAN!" Richard's head snapped up at the sound of her voice. "Oh, my God," he faintly heard her say. "Richard, over here!"

Richard rushed over there as fast as he could and knelt beside Lois. "Where?" he asked, and she pointed down a hole where he saw a hand, and the familiar blue sleeve that came along with it. "I see him," he said, getting back up and retrieving their equipment. They had brought along some mountain climbing gear in case they needed it.

"Superman, can you hear me?" Lois said loudly, trying to get his attention. Her heart beat even faster when he didn't respond. "Richard, hurry!"

Richard didn't need to be told twice.

* * *

"Man, he's freezing!" Richard said as he and Lois put one of his arms around each of their shoulders to lead him out of the Fortress and into the sunlight. Once they got him out of there, they noted how beat up he looked and the tears in his suit. As if he had been down to hell itself and barely survived it.

Lois's concern deepened when nothing happened. "Why isn't he getting better?" She looked up into the sun and back to Superman again.

"I don't know," Richard said, completely out of ideas. "Maybe we should take him to a hospital."

"No!"

Richard couldn't believe what she just said. "What?"

"I'm not handing him over to the government or whomever only for them to take advantage of him." They lifted him into the seaplane with some degree of difficulty. "I feel him breathing… barely," she continued, placing one hand on his chest as Richard buckled into the cockpit.

Lois was frightened. When they finally got him out, she saw that his body was battered and bruised. His suit was stained with frozen blood. Right now, she couldn't even think about how it had happened, all she cared about was seeing him wake up, or at least some sign that he was over the worst and would be getting better from this point on.

* * *

It took forever to arrive back in Metropolis. Richard landed the plane along the riverfront home Lois had once shared with him. He kept the house after she moved out, insisting that it was more suited to him than to her. They both also hoped that Richard keeping the house would provide an easier transition for Jason.

"It's a good thing it got dark," Richard said, helping the unconscious hero out of his plane while Lois remained to help from the inside. "I wouldn't know how to explain this to our neighbors."

"We're going to have to cover the windows."

"Go ahead and do that," Richard said, lifting Superman over his shoulder. "I'll be right behind you."

"Are you sure?" she asked wearily. She didn't feel comfortable being away from Superman for more than a second.

"He's a lot lighter than I expected," Richard mused, trying to make this easier for them both.

By the time they got him inside, Superman was running an incredibly high fever. Who knows how long he had been stuck down there, and near death, too. Lois remained by Superman's side throughout the night.

Superman stayed that way a few more days until one morning, as Lois was dabbing a cool wet cloth atop his forehead when she felt him stir. Before she could react, his eyes opened and stared directly into Lois' with what looked like, little recognition.

"Superman," she said, relieved. Her heart leaped to see him awake.

He blinked a few times before finally responding. His words shattered all her hopes into a thousand different pieces.

"Who are you?"

**To be continued…**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"**Always look at what you have left. Never look at what you have lost." – Robert H. Schuller**

"_Who are you?"_

Lois could scarcely believe what she was hearing, but she willed her mind to get a grip. She felt herself unraveling that very moment when the sudden presence of her ex-fiancé brought her back from her heavy thoughts.

"He's awake," Richard said, noting the obvious.

Before Superman could repeat the same question he asked her, Lois got up and led Richard to the kitchen.

"So how is he?"

She shook her head grievously, the circumstances had become a lot more complicated than she ever imagined. Yet in the end, she had to be glad that he was alive. Lois explained to Richard what she just discovered and when she was finished, Richard let out a sigh of disbelief.

"Are you sure?" She nodded. "So he doesn't know who you are?"

"If he did, he's doing a really good job pretending."

"Where are my clothes?" Superman said above their hushed whispers. Lois and Richard turned to him, startled at his words. Shortly after bringing him home, Richard went out to buy some clothes that fit him while she carefully removed his suit from his battered body. She remembered the many bruises that covered his form, and shuddered.

Lois and Richard went back into the living room and addressed him as simply as they could.

"Do you know your name?" she asked softly as she sat on the wooden coffee table next to the couch he lay on.

Superman sat up a little straighter, looking at her with obvious confusion. He felt extremely tired and dehydrated. He was wearing nothing but boxers in a house he'd never seen before, and in front of a woman he wasn't quite sure he knew.

"What's _your_ name?" he asked, turning the tables on her.

If he had been anyone else, she would've reprimanded him for avoiding her question. Instead, she smirked, and Superman found himself oddly admiring it. There was something about her that he felt connected to. Unfortunately, he couldn't quite figure out what it was.

"My name is Lois. Lois Lane."

Superman repeated the words in his mouth, as if that would help him remember her faster, but they just didn't ring a bell. What he knew and what he felt seemed like two entirely different things. He turned to her companion.

"Are you her husband?"

Richard stood frozen, the question catching him off-guard. "Um, no," he replied, slightly embarrassed. "We're not… she and I… we're no longer together."

"Oh," Superman responded so humanly.

"His name is Richard White, do you recognize that name?"

Superman shook his head. The name didn't sound familiar either.

"Okay, how about you tell us your name?"

Superman opened his mouth to answer but closed it before a sound even came out. He was confused about what was happening. He barely remembered anything about himself, yet surprisingly, he could count from one to ten, he knew who the first president of the United States was and that he was craving a hamburger.

"Well…" she waited for him to answer quite anxiously.

"I…" Superman tried again and then sighed. "I don't know."

Both Richard and Lois raised their eyebrows. "You don't know who you are?" she said, hoping she heard wrong.

Superman nodded and Richard collapsed on a nearby chair.

Lois took a deep breath and dealt with the situation head on. "We found you, and you were hurt. Barely alive, really. We brought you here so you could heal."

Superman raised an eyebrow. "Why didn't you bring me to the hospital?" Everything about life seemed clear to him, just not his own.

"I said that, but she wouldn't listen to me," Richard jumped in, proving his worth in this situation.

"Are we friends?" Superman asked.

The irony in his question almost made Richard laugh if Lois hadn't given him a death glare.

"It's… complicated," she answered.

"Which part?" Superman continued. "Bringing me to the hospital or being friends?"

Even though he was suffering a very elaborate case of amnesia, nevertheless, it surprised Richard and Lois to see Superman come alive with such a lively personality. She had always felt that he deliberately kept her at a distance, even at their most intimate moments, and to see this part of him brought home the fact that there was just so much about him that she didn't really know.

"A little bit of both," she answered quite truthfully. "How do you feel?"

"Like I was run over by a train." He tried to move but felt his body stiffen with immense pain. Lois saw him tense up and was quick to be by his side. "Be careful, you're pretty banged up."

"I can feel that," Superman replied, giving her a remarkable smile despite the exhausted look on his face.

"Are you thirsty?" Richard asked, getting the pitcher of water anyway. He poured it into a glass and handed it to Lois.

In turn, she handed the glass to Superman. "In the meantime, what do you want us to call you?" she asked graciously.

Superman shrugged. "I uh… don't know. I was hoping you would tell me."

Richard and Lois exchanged weary glances, and Superman immediately knew something was off. He couldn't describe the feeling of emptiness inside him. There were massive gaps in his head that he couldn't account for. His life seemed completely erased and the only people who seemed to know something about it looked as if they didn't know anything at all.

"Well… your birth name is Kal-El."

"Kal-El?" Superman repeated, trying the name out for himself. He said it again and this time he shook his head. "Is that European?"

Richard stared wide-eyed while Lois chuckled. Superman frowned. "I guess not." Suddenly, he felt nervous being around them, his ignorance troubling him deeply.

"It's just... there so much about you that even I don't know about," she revealed, and Superman nodded, she took his thoughts right out of his mind.

"So I guess I'm Kal-El then," Superman submitted with little enthusiasm.

"Why don't we just call you Kal?" she suggested. As much as Lois respected and even admired where he came from, calling him Kal-El was a bit too awkward for her. Stranger than calling him Superman if anyone could believe it.

"Kal sounds good," Richard heartily agreed.

"Okay," Kal agreed as well and then his stomach grumbled. "Do you have any food?" he asked almost shyly.

Lois and Richard exchanged glances once again.

* * *

Shortly thereafter, Richard watched Lois pace back and forth in what was once their bedroom. Superman, or in this case, Kal, was still downstairs in the living room eating some leftovers from the previous night. At this moment, Richard never knew he could read his ex-fiancé so well.

"Amazing, isn't it?" he spoke into the silence, hoping to jumpstart any kind of conversation.

"Huh?" she looked up, not catching his words.

"I said, amazing, isn't it? Superman, I mean. He's in our... my living room eating food I cooked last night. I didn't think that was ever possible. He looked so—"

"Normal," she completed for him, thinking of Superman in regular clothes and eating normal foods. From the momentary sight of seeing him eat, he looked like he was enjoying it too.

"Yeah." There was a brief silence between them before he continued. "I wonder what happened to him." Richard looked at her, curious but genuinely concerned at the same time. "Have you two talked at all about... you know?" He didn't want to pry, but he also didn't want to spend the rest of the afternoon in silence while the world's greatest and most powerful hero sat downstairs eating leftovers.

"Not really," she admitted much to their dismay. "I've been so preoccupied, and he's well... he's everywhere. And then there was us... I just didn't want to deal with it just yet."

"I understand."

Lois slumped down on the bed and brushed her hand through her hair. "I can't believe this is happening." She thought of her son Jason, and for a moment, she relaxed.

"I'm sure he'll remember in no time," Richard said, giving her some hope.

"Yeah," she said but the confidence in her voice fell incredibly short. "We should get back down there; he probably has tons of questions for us."

"Actually, _you_ go," Richard said. "I'll head over to Lucy's and spend some more time with Jason. Besides, there's really little I can do here, and I'm sure you want to have some privacy with him."

Lois smiled, grateful that she and Richard were at a point that they could speak easily about her semi-unofficial relationship with Superman. She could only imagine what Richard must be thinking and feeling.

"Thank you."

* * *

On her way down the stairs, Lois was surprised to find the sofa empty, and his plate of food completely clean atop the coffee table. She looked around until she found him leaning against the window pane that overlooked the river.

"It's weird," he said, startling her. "I could describe every detail out there but I can't remember a thing about myself."

She crossed her arms and slowly moved her way beside him, staring out of the same view. "It'll come back to you."

"You sound very sure of yourself."

"I'm rarely wrong."

Kal grinned. "Confident, too."

Lois blushed at the comment. Superman was more than capable of sending her a compliment or two but never with that kind of tone. Kal had something that she could only describe as incredibly charming. She wondered what he was thinking right now.

"How do you feel?"

"Less hungry, but still terrible," he admits.

She looked at him, his face shadowed underneath the warm sun. "Do you feel different, I mean physically?"

He quirked an eyebrow. "I'm not following."

"Well," she began, biting her lip, trying to figure out a way to tell him about himself without freaking him out. Perhaps this was one of the things that he remembered about himself. She could only hope. "You're not exactly from around here."

"So where am I from?"

She gulped. "You come from pretty far away."

"How far away?"

"Far!"

Kal chuckled, amused by her uneasy display. "You make it sound like I'm from another planet."

Lois narrowed her eyes and debated if that was just a coincidence. It was almost like he guessed it out of a chance of one and a million. Then she thought to keep it to herself for the time being. She didn't want to add more confusion than there already was.

When he tried to move from the window, he flinched and almost fell down to his knees if it hadn't been for Lois standing nearby.

"Take it easy," she said, extremely concerned. His one arm wrapped around her shoulder and the familiar warmth from his touch sent pleasant shivers down her spine. "Let's get you back to the couch."

"How long have I been out?" he breathed with slight difficultly. "I can't move anything without feeling it."

"A little over two days," she answered reluctantly.

"Thank you," he said genuinely. "Thank you for taking care of me like this. I feel so helpless."

Lois smiled. "Consider us even."

He raised his eyebrow and he wondered to himself _why _exactly is that so?

**To be continued…**


	4. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes**: Thank you all for the feedback, it's highly and greatly appreciated.

**Chapter 3**

"**Time is what we want most, but what we use worst." – William Penn**

Over the phone, Lois relayed her notes on an assignment she had been given earlier this week. Perry White was not at all happy that he wasn't going to get his top reporter back in the office where he needed her to be. "Whatever's keeping you from the bullpen better be serious or else, Lane," he said through the phone with gritted teeth as Lois looked over her shoulder to find her patient perusing a photo album she had compiled of her son since he was born.

She gulped. "It's pretty serious, Chief."

"Don't call me Chief!" he bellowed on the other line.

"You've got nothing to worry about; I'll be working from home. I'll have the article on your desk by morning's edition."

"You'd better or you're fired," he threatened as always.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Yeah." Just as she was going to say goodbye, Perry spoke up about an entirely different matter.

"By the way, have you seen Kent?" he asked.

"No, isn't he there?"

"He hasn't been for the last few days. He hasn't called in either and that's not like him. While you're out of the office, I want you to make a quick stop to his place to check up on him."

"He's probably just not feeling well," she suggested. "There's a flu that's been going around, so maybe that's it."

"This is Clark Kent we're talking about, Lois. He's never missed a day of work in his life. Humor me and check up on him anyway."

Lois sighed. "Fine." Then _click_, he hung up, surely thinking that if he waited for her to hang up the phone first, she'd find a way to get out of the chore of having to babysit Clark Kent of all people.

As soon as she was done with the call, Kal looked up from the photo album he was totally engrossed in.

"Is everything all right?" he asked politely.

She looked at him; the sight of Superman wearing regular clothes was still something for her to get used to. He looked comfortable in them, like he was any other ordinary man that couldn't run as fast as a speeding bullet, bend steel with his bare hands or lift large continents off the ocean floor.

"Yeah, it's fine," she said, moving to sit beside him. She looked down and smiled at the page he left off in the album. It was Jason's third birthday.

"You've got a beautiful boy," he said, noticing the smile that graced her lips as she looked adoringly to her little boy in the picture. "He looks a lot like you."

"Everyone says that."

He looked down and pointed on a single close-up of Jason. "Except his eyes, they're very blue." Lois shifted uncomfortably at his very accurate observation as he continued. "You must be a great mother."

She forced a smile. "What makes you say that?"

"Because he's always smiling, and laughing. I look at these pictures, and in a way, I feel like I'm looking into my past even though it doesn't make much sense to me."

Lois nodded, not questioning the logic. He wasn't far off. Jason was, in a way, a part of his past even though he was also very much a part of his future. Regretfully, that was one fact she would have to keep to herself for the time being. She was having a hard time figuring things out even with Superman's memories intact; she couldn't even imagine trying to work things out without them.

"When I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified. I've been so focused on my career…" _and Superman,_ she thought quietly in her mind, "… I've never really stopped to think about what it would be like to have a child let alone be a part of a family. Then I held Jason in my arms, and what I felt for him was so beyond the call of words, I don't even know how to describe it properly."

Kal smiled. "I think you're doing just fine."

When they looked each other in the eyes, the intensity in them forced Lois to look away. She also wasn't ready to deal with her feelings for him right now, especially when his own life was literally lost. Instead, she had an idea.

"Do you feel like going outside?"

"You mean you'll actually let me step out of the house and not just the backyard?"

She grinned. "I was just looking after you." The truth of the matter was that she didn't want anyone inadvertently recognizing Superman, and of course she had an overwhelming desire to protect him. "Besides, I was ordered by my boss to look in on a co-worker, and I'm not about to leave you here all alone."

"Are they all right?" he asked, in a tone that was genuine.

"You mean, Clark? Yeah, I guess. He probably is. He hasn't shown up to work, so Perry wants me to check up on him. You interested?"

"I get the feeling that really isn't a question."

"Come on." She got up and opened up the coat closet. "Here," she said, placing Richard's baseball cap atop of Kal's head. She smirked, thinking he looked like the typical all-American guy. "Just don't look anyone in the eye and no one will be the wiser. You think you can walk okay?"

"I think so," even though he felt sore all over, he believed he could manage.

"Good." She helped him up from the couch. "Let's go."

* * *

During the cab ride to her co-worker's place, Kal couldn't help but ask, "Is this guy your boyfriend, too?"

Lois coughed suddenly. _Boyfriend? Clark? _"What makes you say that? And no, he's not and was never my boyfriend. We're just friends."

He continued his inquiry much to Lois's annoyance. "Why not?"

She sighed. "Well… because… he and I just don't… we're not like that. Ever. He's too quiet. I'm very loud." Kal smiled at that description, he could pretty much understand her meaning. "We've got zero in common."

He raised his eyebrows. "But you two work together."

"All right. Granted. We're both journalists. But I like to get into the thick of things while Clark likes to watch on the sidelines. Seriously, we have barely anything in common."

At this point, for some unknown reason, he was very interested in what she thought about Clark. "So what kind of guy is he?"

"He's…" Lois stopped when she realized that beyond Clark's outward appearance and personality, there really wasn't much about him that she knew about. "He's a nice guy." Kal chuckled at her answer. "He's polite and never says an unkind word about anybody. He's a little too eager sometimes, but he has a good heart. He wears these thick ridiculous glasses and he's always tripping over things so half our conversations always end with him apologizing about something."

"He sounds like a swell guy."

Lois sat dumbfounded by his words. "Did you just say swell?"

"Huh?"

"Nothing," she waved off. Who would've thought that the farm boy and Superman shared that word in common.

The cab came to a halt.

"We're here," she announced, paying the driver and stepping out of the car with Kal right beside her. "Okay, just stay with me and don't get too far. I don't want to lose you here."

"And I don't want to be lost," he said with a smile that would have melted Lois's heart if she wasn't so worried about him.

* * *

"Clark!" She knocked several more times in hopes he would answer and that she could leave. "Clark, open up!" She gave up on the door and began to _try_ and to turn the knob. With little success, Kal joined in.

"Here, let me try," he said, softly removing her hand from the knob.

Lois gulped, worried that he would snap the door right off its hinges, but when he turned the knob several times and nothing happened, she visibly relaxed.

"Maybe we should call for a doorman?" he said out loud.

"Or maybe he's just not home."

"Do you want to take that chance, though?"

Lois smiled. Even without his memories, he was still looking out for people. He might not have his memories but she was glad that his sense of righteousness remained intact. Always the white knight.

"Let's go find ourselves a doorman."

* * *

"I appreciate you letting us come in, Mister…"

"Howard, Miss Lane. You can call me Howard. Any friend of Mr. Kent is a friend of mine." The old man's smile was warm and inviting. Like an old friend. "I haven't seen Mr. Kent come in or out since Monday and I'm glad you're here to check up on him. He doesn't get many visitors."

Behind him, the baseball cap and his bowed head hiding him well, Kal smiled sadly at the old man's words. For some reason, he felt an odd connection with Clark Kent.

"I appreciate it, Howard. We'll let you know if we find anything."

"Take your time," Howard said, kindly letting them in. "He's a quiet young man, but he always takes the time to ask me how I'm doing. Not many people in this building ever really take the time."

Lois smiled at that. She wasn't surprised. The smallest gesture could mean so much when it was sincere and Clark Kent was the model of sincerity.

As Howard left them behind, Lois surveyed the living room first. It was spacious but contained few furnishings besides a couch and boxes that looked like they hadn't been unpacked. It was the opposite of what she thought Clark's home would be. First of all, it lacked the country style she expected from the farm boy.

Basically, it lacked any kind of anything.

"Did he just move in?" Kal asked as he too began to look around.

Lois was ashamed to admit that she didn't know. "It looks like it. He left the Planet a few years ago and he sort of just came back."

"Where'd he go?"

"Around the world, I guess. I think I got a postcard from him with a llama on it."

Kal lifted a lid off of one of the boxes and peaked inside. He found a frame, the picture hidden on the opposite side. Slowly, he picked it up and flipped it over and the faces of an elderly couple glanced at him with remarkable familiarity. A familiarity he couldn't find in himself to decipher.

"When did he get back?"

"A few months ago, around the same time as–" she stopped herself from going any further. She didn't even know where to start on the subject of Superman. "Nevermind. Did you find anything?"

"Not really."

"Let's look around then."

"Okay," Kal obeyed and followed Lois to the next room, the kitchen.

"Wow," they both said simultaneously. What the living room didn't have the kitchen certainly made up for. It was richly designed with a solid surface of natural stone gracing the countertops. The cabinets were made of dark heavy oak, fitted to perfection.

"There's barely anything in his fridge," Lois said as she perused the kitchen. "You'd think a farmboy would have it fully stocked or something."

"Farmboy?"

"Oh, yeah. He came from Smallville. You know, Kansas."

Kal chuckled. "Yes, I know where that is."

"Good," she nodded, relieved and then continued to look around. Down one hallway, she made her way to Clark's bedroom and noticed how plain and white everything was. "Kent, what have you been doing?" she said to no one in particular.

"What is it?"

"His bed doesn't look like it's been slept in for days. I'm beginning to think that the Chief was right."

"Chief?"

"My boss."

"Oh."

"Yeah, and now I'm getting worried."

"Maybe he went to visit his parents."

"His parents?"

"Yeah." He showed her the framed picture he found himself holding onto. "I think these are his parents."

Lois looked at the photo with surprising interest. Neither of the two people reminded her of Clark but considering their advanced age, that didn't bother her much. They looked kind, humble and happy. She didn't think Clark would be there but it was worth looking into. Now she just had to give Perry a call and tell him about her change of plans.

**To be continued…**


	5. Chapter 4

**Author's Notes**: You all are fantastic! I forgot to thank you all for pointing out "fowl." It's all Barbara's fault, but that's okay because I'd still name a street after her. This story would be nothing without her super-betaing powers. And when you get the chance, I highly encourage feedback. Highly! Okay, so um... without further ado...

**Chapter 4**

"**Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly." – Langston Hughes**

"_You will travel far, my little Kal-El. But we will never leave you… even in the face of our deaths… the richness of our lives shall be yours. All that I have, all that I've learned, everything I feel… all this, and more… I bequeath you, my son. You will carry me inside of you all the days of your life. You will make my strength your own, and see my life through your own eyes as your life will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father, and the father, the son. This is all I… all I can send you, Kal-El."_

A bright white light snapped him away from unconsciousness, waking Kal up with a start. Sweat fell from his forehead and he wiped it away, his mind confused, and his heart beating wildly. As soon as his thoughts cleared, his dream slowly faded away. He turned to one side and when he realized they were still in the air, his stomach churned disapprovingly.

"Kal, you're awake." The sound of Lois's voice calmed him almost immediately.

Then he thought about how high they were. "Are we there yet?" he gulped, wiping his clammy hands on his pants. He avoided looking through the window at all costs.

"It won't be long," Richard answered, turning his head around to see his passenger and noticing the nervous look in his countenance. "Are you all right?"

"I don't know," Kal admits. "I think I'm afraid of heights."

Lois's mouth dropped as Richard almost lost control of the plane. He muttered a hasty apology before getting the plane back on track.

Kal breathed deeply.

After making a few impromptu calls after their discovery, or lack thereof, in Clark's apartment, Perry insisted that Richard fly her to Clark's hometown with the seaplane. Realistically, it was the right and fastest way to go but emotionally, it wasn't fair to Richard for having to be thrown in her and Superman's company all the time.

"Okay, so I'm not afraid of heights?" Kal restated, swallowing hard as he took a quick glance out the window. The feeling of acrophobia settled uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach.

"Don't worry about it," Lois said, finally finding her voice. "We're almost there."

"Good," Kal said simply and held tightly on the arm rests. _Almost there _seemed too far away for him.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, a stranger walked around the busy streets of London in a robotic kind of way. His sense was attuned to all that was around him. His mind was processing every sight, sound and scrap of knowledge he could get in touch with. He paid no attention to anyone in his way as he continued to roam. To learn. And in the darkest side of his mind, to destroy.

* * *

"I can't believe I'm in Smallville of all places."

"I can't believe that I'm here with _him_ and _with you_ in Smallville," Richard said with no more enthusiasm as she did. "Have you tried calling his cell again?"

"It keeps going straight to his automated voicemail," Lois answered, taking a quick glance over her shoulder as Superman, or Kal, hurriedly stepped out of the seaplane and onto solid ground. He moved as far away from the plane as soon as they landed and Lois felt pity for him. He was the world's greatest hero and he was afraid of heights. Some things just couldn't be explained.

Soon after, Kal joined them. "Could we _drive_ back to Metropolis?" The glossy puppy-dog look in his eyes caught her off guard. He looked so incredibly innocent.

"I'll think about it."

Kal sighed. Her answer would have to do for now.

"So where are we going to go first?" Kal asked, hoping to forget about the eventual upcoming flight back to Metropolis. He looked around the area and noticed the lake for the very first time. He had an aching suspicion that he'd been here before but he couldn't recollect any visual images in his mind.

"I tried calling his house, but no one picked up," Richard said.

"Maybe his parents aren't there," Kal guessed.

"Maybe," Lois nodded. "But we're going there anyway."

* * *

When a cab picked them up and dropped them off to the car rental station, Kal had the sudden burning desire to know more about Smallville, Kansas. While Lois tried to keep up with his rapid fire questions that she had to admit reminded her of herself sometimes, Richard tried to share as much information he could remember after Googling the town on the internet before they left the city.

"I think we're here," Richard said, turning on a dirt road driveway with a sign above that said _Kent Farm_.

"How quaint," Lois described.

"It doesn't look that bad," Richard commented as the car slowed to a stop right in front of the porch.

When Richard and Lois stepped out of the car, Kal remained buckled in the back seat, staring at the house, his gaze frozen at the sight of it. He felt he recognized the place but he didn't understand why. Even the voices calling out to him couldn't move his attention astray until he heard a bark coming out of the barn.

Kal turned and saw the golden mutt run up to the passenger door, barking at him.

A little ways off, Lois looked concerned. "Kal, be careful. He might have rabies or something."

Kal ignored her though, and he continued to look at the beautiful dog that stopped barking shortly after he finally arrived. The animal sat, wagging his tail as if waiting for him to give him a treat or something.

"Hi, there," Kal said to the dog.

_Woof!_

Kal smiled and then finally stepped out of the vehicle. The dog jumped excitedly to its feet before standing on its two back legs. Kal grabbed his paws and laughed. "You're a pretty cool dog," he said, letting his one hand brush through his golden mane. Kal kneeled down so he could take a better look at the dog when he noticed a name on his collar. "Shelby?"

_Woof! Woof!_

"Is that your name?"

_Woof!_

"That's a nice name," Kal replied to the dog's bark with a smile.

"He likes you," Lois said as she slowly walked up behind him. Shelby's attention immediately drifted to the woman, and as soon as Shelby caught her scent, he was quickly to her side and barked approvingly before letting himself brush against her legs with affection. While Shelby looked like he was having fun, Lois simply looked agitated and uncomfortable. "Whoa. No way there, doggie. I've already got a son. Leave me alone!" Then she sneezed.

Kal chuckled. "He seems to like you, too."

Richard rolled his eyes at the display. Richard liked it better when Superman was just a superhero that could fly, but seeing him all human and casual easily brought out a little jealousy. Not only did he have the human race's respect, but the animal kingdom's, too.

The three walked up the steps of the porch and stopped right in front of the closed door. "Will you leave me alone?" Lois glared at Shelby, but Shelby simply looked back unaffected by her temper.

"Just take it easy with him, Lois," Richard said.

"I think he just likes you," Kal said, then added, "Dogs usually have good instincts when it comes to people."

"Then maybe you should have him," Lois shot back. She crossed her arms and waited anxiously for someone to open the door so she could get away from the mutt who seemed intent to follow her everywhere. She sneezed again. "God! I forgot I had these allergies."

"Well, at least I know that some of Jason's allergies came from you," Richard said he immediately apologized for that after he saw the flash of hurt that crossed her eyes. Then he looked away, ashamed. They both knew it was over between them, and mentioning Jason's fragile nature wasn't a good way to start the healing process.

"Am I in the middle of something?" Kal interrupted kindly.

"No, don't worry. It's nothing. Jason has allergies, and some of them are pretty severe," Lois explained.

"Oh." Kal still didn't understand the sudden bout of tension that appeared out of nowhere.

When nobody answered the door, Lois removed a couple of hair pins from her hair, shoved the two men aside, and began picking the locked door.

Kal's eyes widen. "What are you doing?"

"Knitting a sweater," she quipped. "What do you think I'm doing?"

"Isn't that trespassing?"

Lois grinned, his words reminding her of their son.

"Don't bother," Richard said to him. "You'll never stop her now that she's halfway there."

"Hey, we didn't fly all the way out here only to stop because no one answered the door." She puffed as the lock continued to give her trouble. "Could you guys give me some space?" then she muttered softly, "Way to pick a time to lose your powers, Superman."

"What did you say?" Kal's head started back to her, not hearing her words but knowing she had said something.

Lois blinked. "Nothing. I'm just talking to myself."

Kal nodded as he paced around the floor boards. His hand traced the fence that surrounded the front porch, his mind thinking one thing while his actions did another. After wrapping his hand around the rail, he felt something beneath his fingertips. He removed the small metallic-like object and realized it was a key.

"Uh, Lois."

Lois turned to him in frustration. "What?"

Kal held the key up to her. "Try this." He tossed it to her as she reluctantly gave up her trespassing skills for the more old-fashioned way of entering a home. Using the key. When it turned, Kal sent her a warm smile.

Behind them, Richard was impressed. He wondered briefly if it was a stroke of luck, or just plain coincidence.

When they went inside, Lois quickly closed the front door to keep Shelby outside. As a triumphant look graced her features, it was all for naught when Shelby came running from the back of the house never occurring to Lois that maybe there was a dog entrance somewhere else.

She sighed, sneezed and then looked at Shelby with antagonizing eyes. "What do you want from me?" His bark was the only response, and for the life of her, she couldn't understand what it meant.

"Hey, check this out," Richard said by the fireplace. He held a photo of a familiar face with thick glasses and a smile that wasn't so goofy.

**To be continued…**


	6. Chapter 5

**Author's Notes**: Whew! It's been a long weekend. Are you still there? Oh, I hope so.

**Chapter 5**

"_**Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts." – Arnold Bennett**_

Something made of glass fell to the floor and shattered on impact. The three trespassers turned to find themselves staring into the barrel of an old rifle. Richard raised his hands immediately whereas Kal stood frozen when his eyes strayed to another set of familiar ones.

"Clark?"

"What is it, Martha?" Ben asked, keeping his focus on the three people in front of him. He cocked his rifle and told them to stop. "Don't move!" he warned them. "I've called the police, so don't even think of running."

Slowly, Kal removed his baseball cap. Flashes of his life as a young boy in Smallville came to his mind at lightning speed.

"Mom?" he spoke hesitantly. Kal's memories confused him, feeling as if bits and pieces of it were out of context. All he knew for sure was that the old woman in front of him reminded him of his mother.

As memories of Kal's life unexpectedly returned, a different set of memories were rising, and this time, it was Lois Lane remembering. For years, she had repressed them. Moving on with Richard White and raising a child together could not be done with Superman's shadow following her every move. In the end, she knew she could never escape him and she finally did what she couldn't do the moment she promised herself to let Superman go.

Long before he left for Krypton, a part of her suspected that there was more to the hero than met the eye. Even though he was honest with his feelings for her, she got the impression that he was holding something back. For years she'd worked with Clark Kent, spending plenty of late nights talking shop and breaking down cases to the most minute detail and building them back up again without the slightest thought that maybe, he too, had something to hide.

They'd shared dozens, if not hundreds of bylines. At one point, they were dubbed Lane & Kent, the Hottest Team in Town. Their faces littered several gossip magazine covers. Lois remembered growing annoyed by the name and the talk that circulated around it, but Clark was always humble about it, if not just a little shy. Nobody at the office thought of them as a couple no matter how much Clark followed her around like a lost puppy.

Lois was headstrong; Clark was a little too sweet. It might've crossed her mind a couple or so times how similar Superman and Clark were, but she quickly dismissed them as impossibility.

Apparently she was wrong.

She wanted to speak, but she couldn't. She didn't know what to say. Her voice was trapped between her thoughts and words; there were too many things to say and far too many emotions for her to say them rationally. For the first time since Superman disappeared from her life, she felt lost all over again.

"Ben, put it down," Martha said gently, putting her hand above the rifle and slowly guiding it down.

"Are you sure?"

Martha nodded before stepping closer to her son. She reached out and laid a hand on the side of his cheek, tears welling in her eyes. Ben finally took a good look at the third trespasser and recognition immediately followed.

"My God," Ben said the tone in his voice apologetic. "I'm sorry there, son. I didn't realize it was you." He put his rifle away and placed it in a nearby corner. When he turned, Martha's arms were already around her son tightly.

"Oh, my boy. My special boy. I was so worried about you." Automatically, Kal slid his arms around her waist. The warmth of the old woman's embrace calmed him. He hugged her back but he didn't know quite what to feel because his mind had yet to process the brief memories that surfaced.

Martha continued showing her relief. "I was so worried when you didn't call. I was afraid I lost you again."

Ben, bless him, stood back and watched the reunion, his own heart thanking God that He had taken good care of Martha's precious son. Martha had been expecting his call for a couple of days now, and when he didn't return hers, she began to worry. He turned to his companions and apologized once again.

"I'm sorry about earlier, we don't get many visitors, so seeing the three of you in the house was quite a surprise."

Too shocked to respond, Lois remained silent, leaving Richard to answer. "We're sorry, too. We tried calling earlier, but there was no answer." With all the control he could muster, he turned to Kal. "Clark?"

But Kal didn't react; instead, he continued to hug Martha like a son would his mother. Involuntarily, he hugged her a little tighter.

When Martha released him, she finally noticed the silence that enveloped the room. She eyed Ben first before her gaze fell on the other two people. She recognized Lois Lane, but the other man she couldn't quite put her finger on.

"Lois Lane?" Martha already knew her name but thought it wise to say it all the same.

Before Lois could find her voice, they were interrupted by a fifth person. Sheriff Adams.

With her hand close to her gun, the Sheriff slowly walked into the living room. "Is everyone all right here? I came as soon as you called, Mr. Hubbard."

"Everything is fine," Ben replied. "It was just a false alarm. Turns out it was just Clark and his friends."

"Clark?" Sheriff Adams finally remembered the well-rounded quiet boy who left Smallville several years ago. She relaxed and turned to Clark finally. "Look at you, all grown up. It's good to see you after all this time."

Kal blinked, the small number of memories he had recovered were still a bit hazy. "Thank you," he said kindly before looking between Lois and Richard, who, surprisingly, had nothing to say. All they did was stare at him as if he was suddenly a stranger.

"Well, since it looks like everything here is under control, I'll leave you all to it," Sheriff Adams said.

"Thank you, Sheriff," Ben said.

When the Sheriff finally left, it dawned on Martha that not all seemed right after noting the surprised expressions on Lois and the other man's face. Swallowing deeply, she addressed them.

"I believe we have a lot to talk about." She looked over to Ben and added, "Do you mind stopping by the store and getting us some food? I don't think I have enough here for all of us."

Ben immediately agreed and set forth for the town store.

Martha looked back at her son who was behaving remarkably unlike her son. "Clark?" she began softly. "Do you know who I am?"

"I know you, but…"

Martha's breath caught in her throat and turned to his companions for answers. "What happened to him?"

Lois glanced between mother and son cautiously. Her mind was sorting out the pieces that suddenly had become apparent within the last few minutes when the amazing familiarity in the picture Richard earlier held, was further enhanced by Martha's startling words when she addressed him.

"We were looking for Clark," Lois said numbly.

Richard sensed the silent shock in her voice and immediately reaffirmed to himself that he wasn't the only surprised person in the room. It appeared that Lois hadn't known about Superman's alternate identity either. Selfishly, he was glad he wasn't the only one.

Martha responded with a resounding "Oh."

"Umm… Mrs. Kent?" Richard interrupted reluctantly.

"Please. Call me Martha." She led Clark to the couch and insisted that he sit down. Martha looked at her son once more, her parental instincts kicking in making sure he was all right. "You seem tired. Are you okay?"

Kal smiled weakly. "My name is Clark?"

Finally, the question that was on Lois and Richard's mind finally looked like it would be answered. They waited with baited breath when Martha answered, "Who else would you think you are?"

Kal pointed to Lois and Richard. "They said my name was Kal-El."

Martha let out a small gasp and looked over to Lois and Richard with astonished clarity. She realized too late that neither of them knew that he was Clark Kent. Seeing her son safely at home, without the glasses and in the company of his co-workers made her automatically believe that he had finally revealed himself. She had no idea until now how wrong she had been.

"You didn't know?" she asked knowingly between Lois and Richard. Richard nodded 'no' for the both of them. "What's wrong with him?"

With Lois' voice still out of commission, Richard was the one to answer.

"We found him unconscious at his…" Richard didn't know if he was supposed to refer to his ice fortress as his house or something else given the revelations just discovered, so he decided to be deliberately vague on that subject. "Well, he was hurt when we found him, he woke up a few days ago not knowing who he was."

Fearful for her son's welfare, she forced herself to stay strong and continued her inquiry as bravely as she could. "Then why are you here?"

"We were looking for Clark. He hadn't called in and Perry, our boss, thought it wasn't like him."

Martha sighed in relief and sent a silent prayer thanking this Perry for looking into her boy when nobody else did. She looked back to her son and noticed the lost look in his eyes that had been common when he was a little boy growing into his powers.

"When the news said that Superman wasn't around, I knew something must've happened."

The mention of Superman's name sparked Lois out of her shocked reverie. "You know about Superman?"

Martha softly smiled at the young woman, and Lois shifted uncomfortably at her warm, almost comforting gaze.

"His birth name is really Kal-El," she spoke aloud. It was the first time she was finally able to discuss her son with other people. It was a new feeling and not at all unwelcome. "But he was raised Clark Kent."

Kal's eyebrow rose with interest. "I don't understand."

"You came to us as a little boy. We adopted you when you were just three years old. You were such a small sweet little thing. I held you in my arms and knew that you belonged there."

Kal frowned at the thought that he wasn't her biological child. "So I'm not really yours?"

Martha held his cold hands in hers and assured him otherwise. "I am your mother. I will love you the rest of my life and that will never change. _Never_. You were a gift from the stars. Quite literally, actually."

Lois blinked away the tears forming in her eyes as she allowed herself to hear Martha's loving words. Her anger at the situation and her lack of knowledge about it softened. As much as she would love to yell at Superman right now, she knew he wasn't quite together enough yet to deserve it.

"Are you remembering things?" Lois asked, finally addressing Kal – Clark. Her mind was still putting together all the pieces. His outward appearance should have been proof enough, but years working side-by-side with the soft-spoken reporter made it a little hard to believe.

"A little," he said. "Mostly childhood memories."

"That's good, right?" Richard said. "I mean, at least you're getting your memories back, even though it's taking time. You're going to get them all back."

"I hope so," Martha said, concerned for her son's welfare. "How much do you remember about yourself?"

"Not much. I see another man; he was tall, kind."

Martha smiled. "That must be Jonathan. Your father. He loved you very much."

"Loved?" Kal gulped, noting the past tense use of the word. He bowed his head unknowingly finding himself suffering the loss a second time.

"I'm sorry." Martha placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "It was hard on you, on all of us the first time. I'm sorry you have to feel it again. It breaks my heart to see you sad."

"So let me get this straight," Lois abruptly interrupted as the tension became too much to bear. "Your real, real name is Clark Kent."

"I guess so," Kal shrugged.

"So all this time – you lied to me – to everyone," she added matter-of-factly. Kal looked at her, confused to see her angry at him for something he didn't quite remember doing. She continued, pacing in front of mother and son while Richard was powerless to stop her. "You made me believe that you were two different people, and all this time, you were right in front of me!" she exclaimed, raising her hand to calm an impeding headache. "I can't believe this is happening!"

"Miss Lane," Martha said to the woman gently, sympathetic to her feelings. "If you don't mind, can I speak with you alone?"

Lois stopped and looked at the older woman with slight fear in her eyes. Alone, with his mother? With Superman's mother? That was not something she was looking forward to.

"Right now?" Lois asked in a child-like manner.

"Of course she will, Martha," Richard answered for her, which earned him a decisively angry glare from Lois. He sort of pushed her forward as Martha gave her son a kiss on the cheek before letting him go for a little while.

"Please," Martha pleaded. "There's a lot you don't understand."

"That much is obvious," Lois replied with her usual sarcastic wit, hoping that it would help her alleviate some of her distress.

"Then give me a chance to explain, on Clark's behalf."

"You shouldn't have to," Lois shot back, her anger returning. "He should've told me himself. Instead, I'm finding out now, and it was all completely by accident."

Kal looked between the two like he was watching a tennis match. _I should've told her what exactly? _He didn't know where Lois's anger was coming from, or her reasons behind it. So instead, for lack of anything else to do, he sat quietly as the silent observer.

"I understand you're upset, in some ways, I am too. Even though I supported his decisions, I didn't agree with some of them," Martha said vaguely, and while Lois knew exactly what she meant, it was completely lost on Kal.

"Excuse me," Kal raised his hand in a Clark-ishly sheepish way. "But can somebody tell me what's going on?"

Martha stood up and gestured to Lois to come outside. The young woman looked absolutely terrified.

**To be continued…**


	7. Chapter 6

**Author's Notes**: Sorry for the massive delay. I was detained. Upgrading my OS to an XP and transferring all my files in the process made me lax in my updating. My apologies. This chapter is not as much overdue as Shattered is (that's a whole other fic altogether, so don't even worry about that), but I hope its worth all the wait. Barbara beta'd most of it, but I thought I'd just post this now because I adore you all too much.

**Chapter 6**

_"I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one." - Henry Ward Beecher_

Lois leaned against the window overlooking the Kent Farm. After the awkward moment in the house, Martha led her to the barn and up the second floor for some privacy. Lois could tell the older woman was torn between staying with her son and helping a perfect stranger understand the less-than-perfect circumstances. Lois was still angry despite the calming serenity of such a humble home.

"Did he think I couldn't handle it?" Lois finally voiced out loud, her thoughts running away with her.

"I don't know," Martha replied. There was so much that needed to be said, and she knew Lois needed to hear it from Clark, and not from her, an old woman she's never met before or knew even existed until now.

"I mean, I know he had secrets, but this..." Lois gestured to Martha and around the barn "Seeing the Fortress made a lot more sense than this." Lois sat down on a nearby chair before her legs couldn't hold her up anymore. "Clark and Superman, one and the same – how will I ever get past that?"

Lois looked to Martha, her eyes desperately pleading with her to tell Lois what to do, and Martha wished she had all the answers. Martha never knew the details of her son's relationship with Lois but she could pretty much guess that it was serious. So serious that the great Lois Lane she had heard so much about both from Clark and from the news was crumbling before her; her heart reached out.

"I'm sure once Clark gets all his memories back, you two can finally sit down and work through this together."

"That's the thing," Lois said tiredly. "Once he gets them back, assuming he does, I don't know if I could ever face him."

"My son loves you, that was never in question," Martha assured her matter-of-factly.

"Love," Lois mocked the word as if to spite it. "A lot of good that did. He pretends he's two different people, leaves without saying goodbye and then comes back still pretending he's two different people." Then she adds just for the hell of it, "How can he do it?" She didn't expect an answer but she got one anyway.

"Years of practice, to be honest with you," Martha explained softly. She moves to sit beside Lois and tells for the first time the fears she's kept hidden inside her since Jonathan died, and the fears they had long before he passed away. "Ever since he was a child, his father and I were so protective, we were afraid that if anybody knew, somebody else was bound to find out and people would come and take him away. Even my father didn't get a chance to get to know his grandchild."

Lois looked away, afraid to meet her eyes as Martha continued.

"We drilled it into him that no one can ever know, that as special as he was, it was too dangerous. It got harder when he reached high school; he so desperately wanted to be like the other boys."

Lois tried to hide her tears but it seemed inevitable not to break down in front of Martha. Despite her tumultuous feelings, Martha presented a warm soothing presence she didn't expect. Listening to her talk about Superman, no, Clark, about his childhood gave her a different perspective than the one she had. To be honest, hers was easier to accept because being angry was all she wanted to feel. Unfortunately, Martha would not have it that way and her anger toward her lover and colleague dissipated little by little.

"He was so young, so full of dreams," Martha remembered nostalgically. "Finally, a year after his father passed away, he decided to leave. With nothing but a backpack and a couple of hundred dollars in his pocket, he left Smallville and traveled the world. One day, he found himself north and that's when he discovered how the crystal worked."

"The Fortress of Solitude," Lois said, knowing exactly what that crystal was for. She remembered him talking about it to her once. At least there were some things about him that Superman hadn't felt obligated to keep to himself, but that didn't make the pain feel any less.

"Mrs. Kent – "

"Please call me Martha. Coming from you, it makes me feel old."

Lois smiled but then turned somber. "How much exactly has Sup— Clark told you about us?"

"A little bit of everything, I guess," Martha replied. "He talks about you a lot, but never about the two of you together. Clark's always been guarded about his feelings, he always believed that everyone else comes before him."

"Yeah, he's quite the Boy Scout, I'll give you that," Lois commented, overlooking the part where Martha said that there were plenty of things that Clark hadn't spoken of in regards to their relationship.

Martha let out a small weak smile. For the past hour, talking about her son to Lois felt cathartic. Her tenacity seemed like a perfect counterpart to Clark's often careful demeanor. And there was a spark in her eyes when she spoke about Superman but unfortunately, it was overshadowed by her anger and hurt over the knowledge that he kept his real identity from her a secret all these years.

"I can't apologize for Clark, but I do want you to know that when he feels, he feels deeply."

"No, I get why he didn't tell me at first, but so much has happened since our first interview. Way too much. There really is no excuse for him now. We've got too much between us, and Jason! I don't even know where to begin with him."

"Who's Jason?" Martha wondered.

"Oh, he's my son," Lois answered automatically, her mind too filled to comprehend the curiosity in Martha's words.

"I remember now," Martha said. "He's the little boy you had with you when you visited Clark at the hospital."

"Yeah. Wait. Hospital?" Then Lois remembered the debacle that surrounded the aftermath of Superman's return from Krypton. "Oh, right. The hospital. Sorry, that's sort of a time I don't want to relive again."

Martha nodded. "I completely understand."

"Jason was scared though, but brave also. I wouldn't know what to do if anything happened to him. I guess finding out that Superman is really Clark and that he grew up here on Earth makes it easier for me to believe that Jason has a chance as well."

Martha looked at Lois, confused. "I'm sorry, is something wrong with your boy?"

"Jason?" Lois is completely unaware that she was about to drop the biggest bomb on Martha Kent's lap. "He's a bit fragile, being only six years old, I think he's been in and out of the hospital more times than I care to count." She recalled a memory of her son drawing on Clark's lap one day and smiled. "He adores Clark, by the way. This is obvious now considering he's his son."

"I'm sorry… what?" Martha interrupted with more than a little shock in her eyes.

"Sup— Clark is Jason's…" Lois stopped and her eyes widen. "He hasn't told you about that?" Martha remained speechless, her heart rate speeding rapidly. "Oh," Lois added for lack of anything else to say. She fumbled with words afterwards. "Um… maybe we should head back inside, get you some water or something." Lois began to worry. "Seriously, this is not how I pictured meeting Superman's mom would be."

" Miss Lane," Martha finally said but Lois was still fidgeting around nervously.

"If I get to call you Martha, then you have to call me Lois. Not that you have to. Because you don't, but please do. Please." Lois didn't feel like the head strong person she should be in the presence of Martha Kent. Actually, she felt like a little girl waiting for punishment.

"No," Martha said softly, taking Lois's shaking hands with her own. Her eyes watered as she took a longer look at the beautiful young woman before her. She pulled her forward, wrapping her arms around Lois. "I'm a grandmother." The realization seemed surreal to the Kent matriarch.

Lois, at first, felt uncomfortable with how maternal Martha was being, but as she allowed herself to feel as she did, she let her eyes fill with tears as well. Slowly, Lois returned her embrace with one of her own and silently cried in the safety of Martha Kent's warm and safe arms.

* * *

"What do you think they're talking about?"

Startled, Richard looked up at a concerned Clark and shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure."  
He'd been deep in thought and for a moment, he forgot that he was standing in Superman's living room. Or, at least, Superman's mother's living room.

"Richard?"

"Hmm?"

"There's something that's been bothering me." Richard gulped and waited for the question. It could be one of a million that's crossed his mind. "You knew my name was Kal-El," Clark paused to think about what he was going to ask. "How come you didn't know I was Clark Kent, too?"

Richard sighed. That was one question he wasn't prepared to answer.

"We should wait for Lois."

Clark was getting impatient. "Why are you avoiding the question?"

"Because it's not my place to answer."

"Look, I'm grateful for everything you two have done for me, but I'm sensing a lot more is going on than either of you have led on."

"Could we just wait for her, please?" Richard insisted.

"Fine," Clark said in defeat, moving away from the window and to the fireplace where a bunch of pictures lined the mantle and found a pair of glasses beside one of them. He looked at it, recognition briefly flashed across his mind. He unfolded them and placed them on the bridge of his nose, his vision clearing immediately. "Oh. Now everything looks clear," he muttered to no one in particular. He was just happy to finally see clearly.

Richard turned to him and was momentarily amazed at the man before him. How could a simple pair of glasses change a man's look so much? The only real difference that separated Clark and Superman was the way he held himself.

"Wow."

Clark looked at him. "What?"

"Those glasses," Richard pointed.

"Yeah, it looks like I need them. I was wondering why I could barely see the street signs when we were driving through the town."

"So you can't see through things?"

Clark frowned. "Why would I be able to see through things?"

"Nevermind."

Suddenly, the door swung open and Martha Kent entered. The sight of her both made Clark and Richard stand up in relief.

"Where's Lois?" Richard asked.

"She's still in the barn."

"Is she okay?" Clark asked as well, his blue eyes filled with genuine concern. He stuffed his hands in his pocket and he raised himself up and down on the ball of his foot in anticipation of an answer. He looked ten years younger just then.

"I don't know," Martha truthfully answered, moving closer to her son. She slowly pulled him into her embrace and whispered, "You should go to her," and with a light pat on his back, she let him go and looked over to Richard.

"I think I hear Ben pulling up. Would you like to help me make dinner tonight, Mr. White? Clark normally helps me when he's around but I thought…"

He interrupted her before she can finish her question. "That won't be a problem, Mrs. Kent. I'll be glad to help." For Richard, it was the first time since this whole mess started, he felt like he can finally breathe.

* * *

At the bottom of the stairs that led to the second floor, Clark reluctantly moved one foot in front of the other. His hands started getting clammy and his breathing was erratic, and on top of that, he felt a nervous flutter at the pit of his stomach with his heart beating faster than he felt was normal.

"Lois," he called out to her softly. When she didn't answer, he walked up the steps and peaked above the leveled floor as soon as he reached it. "Lois," he said again. "Are you there?" The silence was unbearable until she finally replied.

"I'm here."

Clark relaxed and appeared fully in the room. "Hey," he greeted her with his normal friendliness. "Mom said you were up here. Is everything okay?"

With her back turned, Lois answered. "I don't know if anything is ever going to be okay."

Clark looked down, feeling responsible for hurting her even though he didn't know what he did to cause it. The only thing he knew with absolute certainty that something happened the moment his real identity came out that changed the way she looked at him.

Not knowing what else to say, he could only think of one thing and he gave everything he felt was real and true to it.

"I'm sorry."

**To be continued…**


	8. Chapter 7

**Author's Notes**: My deepest apologies for the massive delay. I don't know what happened, but I hope I didn't run everyone off by my absence. Here is the next installment, and to refresh people's memories I'm starting the chapter off with the last segment of the previous chapter which transitions to the new one. Please review when you get the chance, I'm always grateful for the feedback.

**Previously on Fallen**

_At the bottom of the stairs that led to the second floor, Clark reluctantly moved one foot in front of the other. His hands started getting clammy and his breathing was erratic, and on top of that, he felt a nervous flutter at the pit of his stomach with his heart beating faster than he felt was normal. _

"_Lois," he called out to her softly. When she didn't answer, he walked up the steps and peaked above the leveled floor as soon as he reached it. "Lois," he said again. "Are you there?" The silence was unbearable until she finally replied. _

"_I'm here." _

_Clark relaxed and appeared fully in the room. "Hey," he greeted her with his normal friendliness. "Mom said you were up here. Is everything okay?" _

_With her back turned, Lois answered. "I don't know if anything is ever going to be okay." _

_Clark looked down, feeling responsible for hurting her even though he didn't know what he did to cause it. The only thing he knew with absolute certainty that something happened the moment his real identity came out that changed the way she looked at him. _

_Not knowing what else to say, he could only think of one thing and he gave everything he felt was real and true to it. _

"_I'm sorry."_

Her first instinct was to slap him. After several minutes alone with nothing but her thoughts for company, she felt an overwhelming sense of betrayal, pain and above all, confusion. It was hard enough that she didn't know where either of them stood before discovering his identity, knowing Clark and Superman were one person made it all the more difficult to figure out.

It pained her most of all to know that both Clark and Superman, as separate people, were strangers to her.

"Is there anything I can do?" Clark asked with a helpless look in his eyes that made Lois want to forgive him anything, but her pride wouldn't allow her to.

In retrospect, she shouldn't be angry with him, not when he was just as confused as she was. She didn't know who had the better deal, Clark, for not having any memories, or she, for knowing too much but not enough.

"I'll be fine."

"You're upset," he deduced correctly. "Is it because of me?"

She didn't have the strength to lie to him, especially when there were so many lies between them as it is.

"Yes," she admitted finally. She looked up to find Clark's eyes water with unknowing guilt. Regardless of everything that's happened, she couldn't stand that look in his eyes and she spoke to explain in hopes to make him understand that there are other factors involved. "But it isn't just you. There are a lot of things… it's… it's hard to explain…"

"When you realized that I was Clark, you changed. All those things you said, back in Metropolis, you really didn't know it was me, didn't you?" The words were meant to be rhetorical but he needed to know for sure.

"Up until now, there were a lot of things about Clark… about Kal-El, which I didn't know."

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he said genuinely. "I _can't _have meant to hurt you."

Lois tried as hell not to let her emotions get away with her, not when she needed to be strong for the both of them if they were ever going to get through his amnesia and the sudden bout of revelations that came after it. She wanted too much just to hold him, tell him that everything was going to be okay, but another part of her was still very angry, and by God, bitter at the way things came out.

"I know you didn't," she managed to say, knowing that it was probably true.

Clark looked like he didn't know what to do, and after a dreadful silence, Lois decided it was best that they get inside.

"Come on, your mother must be wondering what's taking us so long."

The mention of his mom made him smile, even if it was slightly forced.

"Yeah. She's making meat loaf, I think. She's amazing in the kitchen, always had something different on the table growing up."

"She does come off as pretty amazing," Lois had to admit. She was also pretty thankful for the change of discussion. The one before it was laced with too much words that weren't said and tension that one of two of them didn't completely comprehend.

By the time they reached the house, Ben Hubbard had already returned and he was now helping Mrs. Kent in the kitchen while Richard's eyes were glued to the television set.

Lois immediately noticed what was showing.

"What's happening?" she asked.

"There was shootout at an American Embassy in South Africa, and two others in central Europe," Richard said, summarizing the news report. "I got a call from Perry, there were no suspects and even less witnesses. He wants us to check it out."

"What about Clark?"

"Perry said that he'll have to wait."

"Wait a second… you didn't tell your uncle that we found him?"

Richard felt the need to defend himself. "And tell him what? That we've had him all along except we didn't know that he was…"

Lois shut him up with a glare, warning him that this was not the time to argue about 'that' particular subject. Getting the hint, he buried his annoyance and began talking about what they were going to do now.

Unbeknownst to the two of them, Clark's eyes remained transfixed at the news report on the screen. The destruction he saw in the various news footage bringing back memories that didn't quite make sense to him.

"Are you ready to eat?" Martha said, showing herself in the living as the three young adults stood. "Clark, sweetie, how do you feel?"

Clark blinked, his peripheral vision catching the sight of his mother. He turned his head to look at her and smiled warmly.

"Better, I guess."

Martha looked him over worriedly. "You look tired."

"I'm pretty sore, but other than that, I'll be okay," he assured her but Martha would have none of it. When she reached his side, she placed a hand to his forehead and gasped in surprise. "Dear lord, you're burning!"

"What?" Clark put his hand to his forehead and felt the heat on his skin. He gulped. "Maybe it's just a fever."

"You don't get fevers."

Lois and Richard exchanged worried glances. They had forgotten one key detail, and that was his powers. He didn't have any.

"Um… Mrs. Kent."

But Martha didn't quite hear her.

"Martha," she repeated, coming between her and her son. "Clark isn't himself." She eyed the other woman peculiarly, hoping to signal her that Clark was without his powers.

Martha shook her head. "I don't…" and then she understood. "Oh."

"What?" Clark asked.

"Let's get you upstairs," Martha recommended. "And get you something cool to drink. You're really burning up."

"But I feel fine."

"You should listen to your mother," Lois interceded.

Clark looked between the two women, curious as to why they were so adamant for him to get some rest. Sure he felt a little warm and the popping in his left ear wasn't was a bit uncomfortable, but other than that, he felt fine. He didn't feel like keeling over and throwing up or anything. But then when he looked at Lois and saw her eyes filled with concern for him, he relented.

"Fine."

Lois raised her eyebrows but then smiled. "Great," she said, relieved. Clark followed his mother up the stairs reluctantly leaving Lois's side.

Halfway up, Clark stopped and looked down.

"Lois?"

Lois looked spun around to look back at him.

"Will you still be here when I wake up?"

The softness in his voice almost made her want to forgive him completely. Instead, she gave him soft smile.

"I'm not going anywhere."

When Clark disappeared from view, Richard looked at Lois sympathetically.

"What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know," she said honestly. "Everything just got more complicated."

"Is it really?"

"Richard…"

"Everything you've ever wanted is a floor away, Lois." He didn't want to do this, but when all is said and done, in the end, Richard only ever wanted her to be happy. "For the longest time, even before I knew it was over, I wondered… I wondered how a God like him could possibly give you a life. And I just couldn't figure that out. Not until today."

Lois sighed, desperate to find answers that seemed light years from her grasp. Tonight though, he seemed to have the all the answers.

"He lied to me, Richard."

"And you lied to me about your feelings for Superman," he shot back, but he wasn't angry. He was simply stating a fact.

Feeling like a hypocrite, she apologized. "I'm sorry. This whole thing isn't fair to you."

"Nothing about this is fair, and caught in the middle of it all is a little boy who needs all three of us. I don't like what's happened between us, Lois, but I accept it, and I'm willing to work with you and Clark if you two would just stop with the two-stepping."

Surprised at his words, "I never thought I'd ever hear you advocate our pairing."

"I think I'm beginning to understand Clark more."

She tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

Richard turned to the rows of pictures displayed throughout the living room. "These photos…"

It could be the weight of protecting Superman… Clark from his amnesia or the shock of discovering that he had a human identity, but beyond her sharp mind, she couldn't figure out what Richard was trying so hard for her to see.

"What about them?"

"He's alone."

"What?"

"The pictures. It's just him and his parents. There's no friends, or more family. It's just Clark and his parents… and the dog." Richard couldn't imagine not having his family around him growing up and it made him feel bad for the Man of Steel even more. "Before, I just thought of him as this invincible guy straight out of our imaginations… I never thought of him as anyone beyond a hero."

"But looking at these photos, seeing him as a kid, a teenager, I think I'm beginning to understand why he has two identities. Why he pretends to be Clark Kent."

"He is Clark Kent."

Startled, Richard and Lois turned to find Martha Kent at the bottom of the stairs. The two guests were afraid to look in her eyes in fear of what they'll find starting back at them.

"Don't misunderstand, Mr. White," Martha said, slowly approaching the two, her eyes set on a group of pictures. "Superman is very much a part of him, but deep down, buried beneath the colors of red and blue and the symbol that defines him, he's Clark Kent. He was Clark Kent long before he donned that suit, and he'll be Clark Kent long afterwards."

"Mrs. Kent, I didn't mean to…"

"No, I'm sure you didn't," Martha said with understanding. "When Clark finally went out on his own, he found it hard to help people and disguise his powers at the same time. You see, even when he was young, he was always trying to save people, and he blamed himself when he couldn't. And when he found the Fortress, and learned about his special heritage, he came to me to help him become someone else. Someone the world could see without knowing everything that lied beneath."

"Superman," Lois and Richard muttered.

Martha nodded. "In this farm, in this small little town, Clark can be just Clark. Not Superman, not the bumbling reporter that I so often hear him be described," off the guilty looks of Richard and Lois, Martha continued, "he's just Clark. My son." Then she smiled at the knowledge that she had a grandson. "I hope one day, I get to meet his."

Lois's eyes widen. "Of course you will."

Richard quickly agrees. "We wouldn't keep Jason from him, no matter what happens."

Martha held there gazes for a few seconds before reaching out and pulling them both in a hug that only she could accomplish. The look in her eyes showed complete trust to these two strangers.

"Thank you for being there for my son."

While Lois let herself go in the arms of Martha Kent, Richard felt a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders, and for once, since his life started crumbling, he felt like there was something to look forward to in the future.

"Now let's get you two something to eat before Ben calls in the cavalry to look for us."

Lois smiled and Richard chuckled, both quite taken with Superman's mom. For Lois, it was like she was truly getting to know Clark for the first time, and she was happy for it.

Upstairs, a single tear fell from Clark's eye as the voices from below became loud and clear for him to hear.

**To be continued…**


	9. Chapter 8

**Author's Notes**: Thank you everyone for taking the time and reviewing, I'm relieved that I haven't completely chased everyone away from the long absence. I'd like to thank Barbara for her magical ability to correct all wrong-doings in my writing. She's the best!

**Chapter 8**

"_The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." – Marcel Proust_

Lois woke up the next morning thinking the last few days had been a dream. A single look at her surroundings proved her wrong. After dinner, Mrs. Kent went above and beyond the call of hostess. The older woman insisted that after years being alone on the secret, it was a pleasant change to finally feel at home with guests and not have to worry about hiding her son's abilities.

This surprised Lois.

So much had happened in her life that she never stopped to think about anybody else. All night, while Clark slept, Lois and Richard were given a private look into the life of the man behind Superman through various stories and adventures that Martha Kent was more than happy to share.

"_And this picture was taken by a neighbor at his father's funeral. I know I shouldn't have it, it was a very sad time for the both of us, but there was just something about it that I couldn't part with."_

_Lois stared at the photo with fascination. In the picture, Clark stood before his father's grave, his eyes never leaving the stone marker that held his loving father. It was the first time out of all the pictures his mother had shown her, even with the glasses, that she saw a Superman._

"_All this time, it never occurred to me he still had a family out there. After what he told me about Krypton, I just never…"_

"_Clark did a good job keeping his dual identity a secret," Martha said with understanding._

"_A little too good a job," Lois sighed regretfully._

_Martha took one of the young woman's hands and smiled at her fondly. Getting to know her a little bit more beyond the brief descriptions her son had shared, she was finally able to see a little of what it was about Lois Lane that captured her son's heart so. She could only hope to learn more._

"_I want you to have this," Lois said._

_Martha looked at the photo that Lois herself took out of her own purse; and Martha put her hand to her mouth as she realized what it was._

"_It's the most recent I have, and I've got plenty more at home. I thought you might like to have this since I don't really know how soon you two can meet," Lois added nervously._

_With tears falling at the image of her grandson, Martha breathed__, "He's beautiful, Lois."_

_Lois beamed at the compliment. _

"_Yes. Yes, he is."_

Lois remembered last night so clearly, and the pain of feeling betrayed had slowly disappeared.

Now she was awake to a new day, and the problems she had before remained the same. Sure, she knew more about the man that had fathered her child, but in a lot of ways, he was still a stranger, and she believed that the only way they could ever move forward, toward anywhere, was if the man himself showed his true colors.

On the way up the stairs, she spared a glance at the living room floor and found Richard quietly sleeping.

Bless that man for putting up with her and Clark.

By the time she got to Clark's room, she found his bed empty. Thinking he had gone to the bathroom or something, she slowly stepped inside, allowing herself to get a better glimpse of the son Martha Kent was so proud to have raised.

Along one wall was a group of certificates outlining his academic achievements. There were photos of him and his parents, his dad especially, and him as a kid. Smiling and laughing so much that it was unbelievable to realize he would one day grow up to be the world's savior.

Then she saw a ribbon hanging at the edge of his dresser and she smiled.

It was a 1st Place ribbon for spelling.

Clearly, Jason's aptitude in that area came from his father and not her, thank goodness.

A moment later she heard a bark outside and she automatically knew it was Shelby. Walking closer to the window, she spotted Clark playing catch with the hairy golden retriever.

She breathed in deeply. He looked better – no longer limping. She wondered momentarily if the light of the rising sun had anything to do with it.

Boy, did the land of Smallville have a great sunrise!

In the yard, when Clark looked up to his window, Lois froze. He waved awkwardly to her, and she noticed how remarkably he looked like the co-worker she supposedly knew for so many years at the Daily Planet and she realized that maybe not all of his behavior was an act.

The thought gave her some relief.

When she finally made it outside and toward Clark, she took the time to take a good look at him in his blue jeans and plain white t-shirt. Without his glasses, he looked like a definite mixture of Superman and Clark Kent and it made her wonder more than once how she couldn't have noticed.

"Hey," he said slowly.

Shelby was immediately by Lois' side making her sneeze. "I hate this dog," she said, but the comment didn't faze the canine.

"Don't be judgmental, you'll hurt his feelings."

Lois smirked before turning to the dog. "He doesn't look offended."

"That's because he's a softy."

She smiled and then commented on the obvious. "How are you? You look like you're feeling a whole lot better."

Clark stuffed his hands in his jean pockets and shrugged. "By the time I woke up this morning, I couldn't get back to sleep," he lied. He had been awake all night inadvertently listening to his mother and Lois talk. He didn't mean to, it was just, for a while, he couldn't turn it off.

Discovering that he was an alien from another planet and the father of Lois' child sent his mind and feelings into overdrive. He couldn't get a handle on them even if he tried.

She stared at him and it made Clark a little uneasy.

"Did you sleep all right?" he asked in a pathetic attempt at small talk.

"Better than I have in the last couple of weeks."

"Good."

"Um… did you remember anything else while you've been here?" she asked curiously. "Seems like coming home yesterday brought out a lot of memories."

Clark shook his head.

Disappointed, Lois took a deep breath and looked out into the cornfield.

"Is this what it was like growing up here?"

Clark smiled, thankful that it was a question he could answer honestly.

"Yeah. This farm has been in the family for a long time." Then the light in his eyes fell when he recalled something important. Lois would be a fool to have missed it.

"What's wrong?"

"My mom's selling the farm," he remembered a little bitterly.

"She is?"

"I just remembered that she's moving to Montana with Mr. Hubbard." He couldn't quite make himself call him his mother's boyfriend. With a guilty look on his face, he turned to Lois. "Is it wrong not to like it?"

Lois chuckled. "This is your home, you're attached to it. It's okay to feel that way."

"Doesn't feel like it."

Titling her head, she had to ask, "Is that all you remember?"

"Mostly memories growing up, that's pretty much it." Feeling the need to be honest now, "And then there's…" Lois waited patiently for him to finish even though she was a naturally impatient woman. "Well… I heard you and my mother talking last night."

Lois's eyes snapped up toward his.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… last night… I… uh… heard you," he gulped and then started to babble. "I didn't mean to, it just happened. I was trying to sleep but all of a sudden, I started to hear voices."

Realization hit Lois hard.

"Oh."

She suddenly found herself sinking to the bottom of the porch steps. She looked at him, her emotions finally spilling over.

"I'm sorry, you weren't supposed to…"

"Why not?" he cut her off quite sharply. He wasn't angry; he just wanted to know why they tried so hard to keep that kind of information from him. "You should've told me."

Lois's burgeoning anger flared to the surface at his accusing tone.

"Don't even think of going there, Clark," she warned dangerously. "You're not going to win." Of all the times to get righteous, he had chosen now. "I've been living in the dark for too many years, and I'm not about to let you get away with it because you happen to lose a few memories."

Clark looked away, ashamed. He had no right to question her methods when his own has been just as questionable. At least, what he could remember and what he'd been able to piece together.

"I'm sorry."

Lois's anger was still at an all-time high, yet she knew he was being sincere.

"How much do you know?" she asked, calming herself.

"Um… I'm an alien." The knowledge of that remained surreal. "And uh… you and I… were…" his eyes skittered from left to right nervously, "…together once."

Lois grinned. A part of her was getting perverse pleasure at seeing him squirm his way through his answer.

"You know about Jason," she said, relieving him of his embarrassment.

Clark nodded.

"I should be relieved that you know, but I was kind of hoping…"

"I remembered it myself."

"Yeah," she replied truthfully.

"When can I see him?"

"Who?"

"Our son."

"Our," and then she realized that he wasn't entirely aware of the circumstances of Jason's birth, and how much he wasn't really a part of their lives. "Oh, that's… I don't think that's a good idea."

Clark frowned. "Why not?" A part of him was impatient to see Jason. After a whole night of thinking, it came down to something very simple. He was excited.

"Because," Lois said uncomfortably.

"What?"

"Jason is your son." Clark smiled further at the confirmation. "But you're not… he's not… you're really not a part of his life."

Clark stared at her in confusion.

"I don't understand."

"Yeah, I know, and here's where it gets complicated." Lois wished he had his memories back already; it would make more sense to him than the mumbo jumbo she was spewing out. "You see," she began, "You left."

"Left," he repeated.

"For Krypton."

"Krypton?"

"Your home planet."

Clark frowned again. "This is my home."

"Okay, your birth planet," she reiterated differently. "When we said you were an alien, we weren't kidding. Like we mentioned before, your _birth_ name is Kal-El and you come from a planet called Krypton."

Even knowing half of what she said, he still didn't understand why he couldn't see Jason.

Lois sighed. "A few years ago, you left Earth to find Krypton." And then her voice turned soft. Calm. "You were gone a long time. You didn't even know that I was pregnant."

Even though he was outside, the walls around him began to close at a menacing speed.

"You mean…"

Sadly, she answered for him. "You weren't here when Jason was born, or when he took his first steps, his first words. You missed the earliest part of his childhood."

"Does he know who I am?"

Again, she had to be the bearer of bad news.

"No."

Joining her on the porch steps, Clark sank besides her.

"Oh."

"I'm sorry; I didn't want to have to tell you any of this."

"It's not your fault," Clark said. "It's mine."

"Look, we can apologize until we're blue in the face but that's just not going to help, is it? We can't change the past, but there is a future out there, and I _do_ want you to be a part of Jason's life. It's just… without all your memories; I don't want to rush things, especially where our child is concerned."

With his elbows leaning against his knees, he nodded.

"Okay."

Before she realized what she was doing, she reached out and held his hand. He looked at her and smiled, albeit weakly, but she was glad he still could.

"Thank you," he said.

"For what?"

"For everything."

Lois smiled her first real smile that didn't have remnants of pain and betrayal etched in it since discovering who he truly was. They were facing each other, their gazes becoming lost in each other's eyes. As the moment stilled, she did the impossible and leaned in, his lips so close to hers as he did the same. Just as she nearly captured him, the ground shook and the air went stale with fear.

"What's happening?"

Clark looked around, forcing his hearing to do what it did the previous night.

"Lois, get inside," he softly commanded.

"Clark…"

"Wake everybody up and find some shelter."

"What's going on?" she pressed for more information, the military brat and reporter side of her mixing together and rising to the forefront.

Clark turned and looked at her straight in the eye and she shivered. "He's coming," he said cryptically. There was something more intimately familiar in the way he looked at her this time than all the others since his amnesia began.

When it dawned on her.

He was back.

**To be continued…**


End file.
